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If someone in your team is struggling, communicating early, often and honestly is vital, says Nicole Carroll – particularly when dealing with their parents...
Communicating with parents can seem quite daunting to many coaches, myself included.
This is particularly true when we find ourselves in the difficult situation of having to move players from A teams to B teams, or even to C teams.
Unfortunately, this is part of sport and part of being a coach. It’s our responsibility to communicate the decisions we make effectively. This is a delicate conversation and should be treated as such, especially if you’re dealing with young players.
The negative impacts of this conversation can be immense, from players losing confidence or leaving your club – or even quitting the sport entirely.
We don’t want to be the reason that someone quits, I sure don’t want to be.
So, how do we navigate these conversations so that they become a positive rather than a negative?
I like to use these tools: Communicate early, often, honestly and with empathy.
From the first team meeting, it is really important that coaches set expectations for the players, It is also very important to make those expectations clear to parents, too.
Send multiple communications about these expectations early on. Make sure that, as soon as you notice a player falling behind or struggling, you let them know and you let their parents know.
The earlier you make the parents aware there is the possibility of movement, the conversation will be a bit easier to navigate.
Update your players on how they are doing throughout the season – do not wait until the end of the season or year to have these conversations.
Make sure you are updating parents on their child’s progress. This can be in a formal way, or just via a conversation.
Either way, make sure the parent is aware of what their child is struggling with and give them thoughts on how they can help them.
Again, make them aware often by sending them updates and educating them on why their child may need a different environment to catch up.
Tell the truth – be very clear on what they are struggling with and what they need to improve.
If you think they are going to be moved down a team at the end of the season or year, tell them that.
Let them know what they need to do to improve and what they need to work on specifically. Being vague, or leaving things up to the imagination, are a recipe for disaster.
Being moved to a different team, or being told that you’re struggling, is hard to hear. Put yourself in their shoes.
It’s not only hard to hear as the player, but also as a parent. Think about how they will feel hearing this information. Let them know why this is what is best for the player and explain how it will help them long term.
Parents just want to know how you and/or your program plan on supporting their child. Emphasize the benefits of the movement.
Think, too, about how you provide the feedback – your tone and body language when delivering this information. Let them know you care.
We have to remember that, even though we have to think of every child on the field, parents are only thinking about their own. Their child is their world.
The more you communicate and the more you show that you care about what happens to their child, the easier and more productive these conversations will become.
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